Understanding your child’s big feelings

Kids often have big feelings, and our neurodivergent kids may show even stronger reactions and even bigger feelings.

Let’s dig into why. Because the more we understand our kids, the better we can support them.

When kids have big feelings we might see meltdowns, shouting, pushing, crying or refusing to take part. And these are hard to deal with.

But there’s a common factor between all of these behaviours. Whether your child is shouting, crying or refusing, they are feeling overwhelmed.

This word can be incredibly helpful. It takes away the emotions that we are seeing, and looks at what’s happening underneath.

So what is overwhelm?

When children are faced with something that feels uncomfortable, they react. This isn’t just the reactions that we see. Their body is reacting too.

Their stress hormones increase, causing a fight or flight response. This is the body’s way of defending itself. Energy is sent to the muscles to run away, and the heart beats faster ready to fight. This reaction doesn’t feel good.

So when our kids are faced with something uncomfortable, they have big feelings. These feelings come from their thoughts, but also come from their physical reactions. And neither feel good.

For many of our sensitive kids, it’s too much to handle. They don’t have the tools to deal with all of these bad feelings.

So the feelings come out. The meltdown, the hitting, the crying or the refusing starts. It’s a reaction to the way they are feeling on the inside.

While understanding this moment doesn’t prevent our kids’ big feelings, it can help us to support them in the way they need.

Let’s make the parenting world a smaller place. Join us in my free Facebook community to hear how other parents manage their child’s big feelings.